Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Nasib Baik Kak Yong


Anak keduaku, Nur Syahidah Afifah lahir di Negeri Perak Darul Ridzuan pada 2003. Setelah berpindah ke Sabah, aku memanggilnya dengan panggilan Kak Yong walaupun dia bukan anak sulung, semata-mata kerana ingin menisbahkan Negeri Perak kepadanya.


Aku mengambil masa seminggu untuk mencari nama untuk puteriku ini. Sebenarnya kerana semua nama yang aku sediakan adalah nama lelaki.


Aku ada cadangkan nama Bahirah, tetapi isteriku tak berapa setuju. Sampai sekarang akupun tak tahu makna nama Bahirah, tetapi aku agak maknanya ok kot.


Aku tertarik dengan nama Bahirah kerana ianya nama seorang isteri pejuang yang aku kagumi pada masa itu. Seorang anak muda hensem yang berani dan cukup berwibawa di mataku pada masa itu. Siapa lagi kalau bukan Ezam Mat Noor.
Harapanku agar puteriku juga menjadi pejuang yang berani untuk Islam di masa depannya.


Hujah, pidato, keberanian Ezam cukup menarik minatku pada masa itu. Tapi itu dulu.


Sejak Ezam mula minat pada keris semula, aku jadi menyampah betul. Aku terfikir, macam mana dia nak jilat dan kunyah balik apa yang dimuntahkan dahulu ?


Apalagi bila dia mula berGerak-Gerak mengheret lembu aku rasa dia dah muflis perjuangan dan sasau pegangan.


Entahlah Ezam, last sekali aku tersua dengan Ezam (kalau bukan lembu dua serupa kerana aku tak tegur pun) di Pasti AlHikmah Kota Kinabalu semasa sambutan kecil-kecilan Hari Raya Aidil Fitri 2007. Masa tu walaupun sudah ada angin tentang dirinya, aku masih yakin dengannya apalagi bila kuamati tiada keris tersisip di pinggangnya dan juga tiada lembu yang ditambat di pagar Pasti AlHikmah.


My point is, nasib baik aku tak namakan Kak Yong, Bahirah. Kalau tak menyesal den.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Kalau Bumi Bisa Ngomong


Bumi mungkin berkata,

"Terima kasih semua kerana perihatin.

Semua di seluruh dunia. Terima kasih, gracias, thank you, denke, syukran, arigatou .....

Tapi buat apa you all pasang lilin banyak-banyak pulak .... I tak fahamlah you ..."


Bacaan tambahan:

Earth Hour, candles and carbon

Friday, March 27, 2009

Earth Hour Lebih 60 Minit dan Lebih Awal



Tiap-tiap malam 2-3 hari ni aku dah amalkan Earth Hour. Bukan 60, tapi lebih, mungkin 120. Tetapi bukan kerana obses dengan Earth Hour 60.


60 Earth Hour ni aku tak ambil pusing sangat. Semua orang dah promote, artis, CEO, pelawak, badut, orang biasa semua dah promote. Alangkah baiknya jika semasa promote tu selitkan sekali kata-kata ....jangan lupa boikot barangan Israel dan Amerika!


Boikot bukan susah pun, cuma beli ubat gigi Mukmin instead of Colgate, makan RFC instead of KFC, minum Vico instead of Milo, guna telefon chokia instead of Nokia.


Berbalik kepada kenapa aku amalkan Earth Hour 120 lebih awal instead of 60 pada 28 Mac tu sebenarnya kalau pasang TV pun buat sakit kepala je tengok siaran langsung orang berhimpun dan bercakap besar.
Silau mata la tengok merah-merah.
.


Sunday, March 22, 2009

Cuba Try PPIMS

PPIMS : Pengajaran Bahasa Inggeris dalam Matematik dan Sains.
Eg.
A Picnic

Today minus one day my family of one dad plus one mum plus two identical twin sisters because of similar X and Y chromosomes add two younger brothers and a lack of melanin pigment in the skin younger sister went to a beach full of white silica.

The sea H2O was so Sodium Chlorided. The sun ray that escaped the O3 in the morning was full of vitamin E that was good for skin pigmentation. However during the afternoon the millions metre per second speed ray caused the dermal layer to sore due to something that seemed to be infinite and went nil in my analogue knowledge.

On the silicate and quartzs , a lot of 2 legged vertebrae mammals enjoying their omnivorous appetite while enjoying staring at 36-24-38 figures of other opposite biological mammal that would cause the serebelum liquid and modula oblongata to stir.

Visitors at the beach multiply when the sun was perpendicular i.e. 90 degree to the x-axis of the earth. The ratio of visitors aged below 15 years and of above 15 years was 3:1, assumming boys of height more than 1.5 metre are above 15 years. 1.4 metre for the opposite sex.

The moon’s nano gravitational force caused tides to ..........

Aaaaa....aku tak sanggup lagi........

Agak-agaknya begitulah rasanya budak sekolah yang memang kelat Bahasa Inggerisnya nak melayari PPSMI. Kalau anda dapat habiskan composition ini tanpa banyak kesalahan grammar, fakta sains dan perkiraan matematik, anda nak sokong PPSMI sampai kenyang pun aku faham... sebab anda memang hebat.
Kalau tak sanggup, fikirlah orang lain sama... Kita semua rakyat Malaysia kan.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

PPSMI (versi recycle)


Selepas makan pizza yang disajikan di atas flight MH 2662 ke Kota Kinabalu, dude di sebelah kanan saya mula menyelak surat khabar manakala dude disebelah kiri pula asyik mencungkil gigi. Bila keadaan macam tu, pastinya saya memberatkan pandangan ke arah kanan.

Dude di kanan sedang baca Berita Harian, atuk kepada Sinar Harian. Dah lama saya tak baca, apalagi nak beli paper yang ber’surname’kan Harian ni. Last time saya beli Berita Harian kalau tak silap semasa menghadiri konvokesyen abang saya di US (Ulu Sintok daa..) tahun 2005 or 2004 dulu. Saya beli semata-mata nak lapik duduk, memang tak baca pun! Terus buat lapik duduk.

Berita utama yang terpampang di Berita Harian yang lebih kecil, lebih terampil hari tu, Jumaat, 14 November, 2008 ialah “TAK JEJAS PRESTASI UPSR”. Sekilas ikan di air saya dah agak, ini mesti pemberita pisang gallo (butir banyak) yang melaporkan ulasan mana-mana kangkung yang me’relate’kan tentang UPSR dgn PPSMI.
.
Sampai rumah, buka internet, memang betul. Sah. Sohih. Saya tak nak argue tentang berapa percentage pelajar yang jawab UPSR dalam BM dan BI, atau kertas UPSR tu sendiri yang dwi-bahasa, atau berapa markah lulus untuk gred A B C yang ditetapkan.

Cumanya setahu saya sebab utama orang menentang PPSMI bukan takut UPSR atau SPM atau PMR merudum kelulusannya. Yang lebih utama dikhuatirkan mereka ialah BM jadi terpinggir, hilang kedaulatan, tak power, tak berilmu, jadi vakum dan lain-lain. Sebab tu A Samad Said pun rela janggutnya diputihkan lagi oleh gas pemedih mata!
.
Memang isu ini bukan untuk orang yang 'bertelinga satu dan berlidah dua' (pinjam perumpamaan Pak Samad yang power).

Saya pernah duduk di sebelah Lee Lam Thye semasa satu sidang akhbar. Sebelum majlis bermula, dia ada berborak dengan saya dan seorang lagi dude di kanannya. Katanya,

"We Malaysians are very good, very lucky. Most of us know at least 2 languanges.... most of us know English."
.
Saya diam saja. Dude di kanan bisu terus. Dalam hati saya jawab juga.

"Kebanyakkan orang dalam dunia ni pun memang paling kurang paham 2 bahasa. Mother tounge dan English. Yang tahu cuma satu bahasa mungkin hanyalah mat salih US, UK, Australia....."
.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Banyaknya Duit Aku


Ini antara email spam yang menunjukkan aku ni jutawan sebenarnya. Banyak lagi yang aku sudah deletekan. Dari Burkina Faso lah, Zimbabwe lah, puteri raja lah, nak jadi rakan kongsi lah, nak pinjam akaun lah, cabutan bertuah lah .... boleh blah!
Entahlah sama ada depa tu semua bodoh nak bagi duit kat aku free-free, atau aku yang bodoh kerana bukan setakat tak nak terima, nak percaya pun aku tak hingin.

Duit ni cukup banyak untuk membeli beberapa unit Camry. Tapi aku tetap tak berminat.

Prinsip aku senang je, selain mak bapak atau mungkin adik beradik, takde siapa nak bagi duit kat kita walaupun tiga ringgit lima puluh sen.

********
“Your ATM-CARD credited with $500,000 U.S.D. is now ready to be delivered.You are to contact Mr. CONTACT PERSON: MR ALBERT MOORE (atm-inquiry@live.co.ukatm-inquiry@live.co.uk> ) TELEPHONE: +234-702-518-8585 for details.”

“Your Email address have been picked as a winner of a lump sum pay outof(£750,934.00 GBP)in cash credited to file REF NO.REF:UKHY/BD-3113BD.YourEmail Ref Number falls within our European booklet representative's officein United Kingdom.”

“We wish to inform you of your prize released on the first of this month from the Australia International Lottery programmer.Therefore, you hereby have been approved a lump sum of US$700,000.00 (DOLLARS) in Cash credit file ref OHUI/IT 34198/09 from the total cash prize of US$5,600,000.00 (DOLLARS) shared amongst eight lucky winners in this category, also your E-mail Was selected through a computer balloting system drawn from Nine hundred thousand E-mail addresses from all over the world (Canada, Australia, United state, Europe, Middle East, Africa and Oceania as part of our international promotion program Which is conducted annually).If your details (e-mail address) falls within our European representativeoffice in Amsterdam, Holland, as indicated in your play Coupon, your prize of SEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND U.S DOLLARS ($700,000.00 USD), will be released to you from this regional branch office London UK.”

“Hello and Greetings to you...

I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of God for you to help me and myfamily, God almighty will bless and reward you abundantly and you wouldnever re-great this.

I am a female student from Burkina Faso University Teachings Hospitals (BUTH) Burkina Faso, Ouagadougou. I am 23yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you.

I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier eight months ago and left I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him over sixteen years before his death. I was a princess to him and I am theonly person who can take care of his wealth now because my junior brother is still young and my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth.
He left the sum of $4.350,000.00US dollars. (FOURMILLION THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND) in a security company. This money was annually paid into my late fathers account from Shell petroleum Development Company (spdc) and chevron Oil Company operating in our locality for the compensation of youth and community development in our jurisdiction. I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town.


Now, I urgently need your humble assistance to move this money from the security company to your bank account, That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact because I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me invest this money wisely. I am ready to pay 20% of the total amount to you if you help us in this transaction and another 10% interest of Annual after Income to you, for handling this transaction for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over. If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me. Please, note that this transaction is 100% risk free and I hope to commence the transaction asquick as possible, I will send you my photograph as soon as I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,PRINCESS MARIA”



“Dear Friend,

I am the head of Accounts and Audit Department of Bank of Africa, Ouagadougou. I decided to contact you after a careful thought that you may be capable of handling this business transaction which I explained below; In my department, I discovered an abandoned sum of $17.5m US dollars (seventeen million, five hundred thousand US dollars). In an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his entire family in 2002 in a plane crash.Since i got information about his death, The bank have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because The fund cannot be released unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines but unfortunately I learnt that his supposed next of kin(his son and wife) died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim.

It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin (I want to present you as his business associate) to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and I don't want this money to go into the Bank treasury as unclaimed Bill.
The Banking law and guideline here stipulates that if such money remained Unclaimed after seven years, the money will be transferred into the Bank treasury as unclaimed fund.The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkina be cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.I agree that 35% of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10 % will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 55% would be for me .

There after I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to your account as arranged, you must apply first to the bank as next of kin of the deceased customer. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer.I expect that you contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter, and send me your personal data including your recent passport before i send you the application which you will fill and send to the bank for continuation of this transaction.Hoping to hear from you immediately.


Yours faithfully,

Dr Anisul Masari.
Accounts & Audit Department,Bank of Africa.
Nb. gives me your telephone and fax numbers for easy communication with you,”

Masjid Guchil Progress Report No. 4

Alhamdulillah,



Berita baik kepada anak kariah Guchil. Hujung tahun ni InsyaAllah dah boleh mula sembahyang di masjid yang digantikan. Kepada anak-anak Guchil di perantauan, bolehlah balik sembahyang raya bersama-sama. Tak perlu lagi sembahyang Jumaat di seluran atap semasa hujan lebat mencurah-curah di masjid Abim.


Tapi pastinya, Tok Najib akan datang rasmi dulu. Maka akan adalah pakar-pakar sejarah tak rasmi yang akan mengaitkan perasmian ini dengan perasmian Masjid Baroh Guchil asal pada lewat 60-an oleh Tun Razak.


Apapun kita bersyukur kerana mendapat masjid yang digantikan. Alhamdulillah.




Memang nampak macam dalam pelan, cuma belum ada kubah lagi.



Tiles sudah dipasang.



Penyambut siling juga telah tersedia. Termasuk pendawaian elektrik.



Lubang kubah pun dah tersedia.



Setiap projek (pembangunan?) ada mangsanya.


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